Oh, The Agony of Joyful Things.

Monday, 17 June 2013.

Had terrible dreams last night, my heart was racing. It was like shocks and bombs and plunging knives into body parts. Not a good idea to watch Taken 2. In fact, not a good idea to watch Die Hard and Game Of Thrones. Woke up sometime in the middle of sleep, my feet were feeling ‘loose’, I don’t know how to describe it, like they were detached or gone, felt like hitting and constantly shaking it. Yayang woke up and sapu yusmira on my feet. My heart still unrest from the bombing, shooting and stabbing.

Then my stomach turned and growled. I felt so hungry. I turned the lights on and grabbed the tupperware with dates by the bed and started gnawing through them.

My head was thinking of baby names and preparing for my first class in midst of the shooting and stabbing. Woke up this morning feeling like a messed up ball of yarn, or more like the tangled hairs in the shower drain.

No, I don’t have morning sickness or cravings, please don’t hold that against me. My only pregnancy symptoms would be my out of breath speech and my heavy chest that have apparently turned into rocky boulders. That and my pee. And gas.

The first few days, sometime last week, I had a bad case of gas. Felt like an over sized balloon, I couldn’t walk or talk properly, sleeping was the worst, any direction didn’t matter. Just wished like I wanted to walk out of my body. I felt and looked HORRIBLE. Like Tweedledum and Tweedledee and Humpty Dumpty in hi def slow mo.

One night, while sitting on my bed, I mean, mattress (bed broke, different story), feeling terrible yet trying to convince myself that this is just psychological. I Zikr. I broke into tears. Then into loud sobs.

I called/ wailed for Yayang to come in to put on the Quran. He kinda panic and misheard that I was asking for my phone (wha??), so I bawled and wailed like a small kid throwing a tantrum “TOLOOONG PASANGGG QURAAAAAANNNN!!! WAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaa!!!” and sobbed to my hearts content. Trying his best to comfort me,  “What’s wrong, tell me what’s wrong.”

“ Saaakitt perutttt… tsk, tsk.. sob sob,” complete with shaking shoulders effect.

“Ok, ok show me where.”

Yayang has this magical ability to ‘tarik angin’, loosely translated to ‘chuck wind’ out of someone. The moment he put his hands on my belly, he started to burp and pass wind continuously until his eyes were red and teary. This went on for a while, the ‘siphoning’ of air out from me, through him. Slowly I felt better and fell into a deep sleep after many many nights.

Yayang however, has to purge the ‘wind’ out of him. But there was just too much that he didn’t manage to purge it all. Whenever he does this, he gets really tired and if he didn’t succeed in purging all of it, he will be the one in pain.

The next day, my pain was all gone and I could move and talk like a normal person. The days onwards felt much better, happier. Different for Yayang however. But he managed to purge it all out by lunch. Thank you!

Last weekend was nice. Yayang made seafood butter fried rice on Saturday. Sooo sedap. We didn’t do much but it was such a nice day. I didn’t feel too good to go out and about. We watched movies and Runningman and just stayed home. Did normal house stuff. Like laundry. Lovely. Choice of movies were not that great to me (Kamen Riders vs Super Sentai????) but I slept through some of them anyway. Except Running Man. They have the ability to make me laugh so hard, my food went upwards. And I temporarily lose my breath, and vision. Maybe not a good idea either.

On Sunday, I followed Yayang to Amcorp, he had some toys to sell and repaint. (Rule: Only go to Amcorp when there is money to be made). I went to get my hair cut at the same place I dyed my hair early last year. Since we’re running low on funds, I just requested for a cut. No wash or treatment or whatever. Chemicals are bad for the baby too. I don’t like the way that he cut my hair and the result, to me, is so sad. My hair was almost to my waist, I asked for shoulder length with a slight fringe, but he chopped it off until below my ears and straight all around. And he did it quite, emm, nonchalantly. All in less than 10 minutes, he didn’t even blow dry it after. How rude. 30 ringgit, my foot. Not pretty. 

Wearing flats. Also not pretty. I want pretty flats.

Oohh, Thank you Hanan and Raiha for 'mobbing' our house and bringing food and staying for the movie. Friends who can come and mob your house are definitely lifelong family friends.