i like looking at other people's pictures. Sometimes i wish it was me in those pics. having those happy memories. this fetish further fed by friendster enabling me a glimpse into other's experiences. Some of them I know, some i used to know, some i thought i knew, some i wish i had known.
pictures tell of places and time. experiences. people. friends. family. love.
pictures tell of what others have. And i have not.
invisible as always.
never a matter of importance to anyone.
the people whom i thought are most important, most special to me, have other people more important and special to them.
it feels strange. never belonging to anyone or anywhere or anyplace.
a meaningless soul wandering slowly through time. never fitting in.
the awkward shape that juts out of place.
What does it feel like, to be a part of something? a real part of something?
not just a fleeting piece. but one that actually sticks and crumble alike.
In a sea of people, how can i feel so alone?
I surrender my all to you God. I am yours. And yours only.
Please have a place for me near you, though i may not deserve it.
You are my creator and to you i return and hope i belong. I'm sorry i can't fit in this world. I honestly do not know how. They speak a different language, they dance to a different beat, they see and feel in ways that are alien to me.
i just want to be normal. like the rest of them, in those pictures that i like to see.
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