Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Pretty Things.

Sometimes when we get tired and weary with the world, we try to escape it by looking at 'pretty things'. By that I mean, objects that give us temporary relief, a glimmer of hope of how we imagine our life to be.

'Pretty things' somehow display an idea of perfection in contrast to what we are feeling at the moment. We live vicariously through images that give us a feeling of elation. It could be a beautiful person, a car, a dress, a room, a scenery... we all have our own preference of visuals that stimulate our happy feelings albeit for just a while.

It explains our obsession over celebrities and entertainment. And our addiction to clicking just that one more link when we are on the internet. It gives us a moment to escape our own reality and immerse in someone else's.

These objects of beauty that we behold have an ability to turn into a drug. We abuse these little pleasures by indulging in the extreme.

I find that my phone has turned into an object that powers my evil inside. I just meant to look something up but ended up looking at the screen for hours. Looking at pictures of 'pretty things'.

I hope and pray that this Ramadhan I will be able to curb this habit and turn to HIM who could give me real happiness that I do not need to escape from.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Withdrawn.

Sometimes my awkwardness in crowds can be misinterpreted as aloofness. People might even think I'm cold. Indifferent even.

When I see a crowd, I withdraw. Sometimes I just wander off into my own world.

I find that I am becoming more introvert and quiet. I just have nothing much to say anymore. Or I question whether it is worth saying.

It is contradictory. I do want to matter and sometimes I need the attention. Stupidly, I even get jealous.

But I just feel weird and out of place. Jutting out. Then I freeze. Then I get nervous. And I just want to leave and look for the comfort and warmth of familiarity.

A crab. Retreating back into its hard shell. Protecting its soft insides.