Tuesday, February 05, 2013


You are my biggest fear, my biggest enemy. You are what scares me the most, yet you’re not even here. I hate you. You are merciless, you are cruel, you have no compassion or passion even. You march on, cold as steel, like clockwork, tick tock tick tock. Mocking every single move that I do, every decision I make, every word I say. Mock mock mock. Never looking back, not a moment less. Never stopping, never waiting, not for anyone, not for anything. Leave everyone behind, trying to catch up, breathless. Without a care in the world, you march to your own beat. Never minding who you hurt, who you destroy, who you kill. Those who know your game, they are the ones that rule, they are powerful, successful. No, HE is the one that rules. Because only HE has the power over you.

Monday, February 04, 2013


I understand it now. Different people have different kinds of addictions to different things. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, gaming…. I get it now. Cause I have an addiction too.

For a fleeting moment, you escape this world and you are brought to another place. In that instance, you are not you, you are not here. You escape the harsh realities of your real world, the world that just sucks, and for just a little while, you forget everything. It is an intense moment of like time slowing down, your whole body goes into this heightened tensed state until right at the edge, and then….. in a split second, you’re whole body relaxes, you are light and airy, you are floating and it feels like you're flying. For a while you get a glimpse of it, you are blissfully happy.

And that is all what addicts want. It is how we cope with this world. That is the only thing that everyone wants. Is to be happy. Even when it is little, even when it is not real.