Monday, September 27, 2010

A letter to my child.

My dearest child,

I'm writing this because I want to share with you about relationships. Why now? Well because Hari Raya was a matchmaking frenzy for your Aunty Nani and your father had just gone through an online battle with one of his exes who said some pretty nasty things in a very nasty way about him. Also, you may be feeling sad after a heartbreak so this is how I plan to pujuk you, I'd like to tell you this.

In our lives, we will come across many people. Some of them will enter your life and leave a profound effect on you, some may be fleeting but still deserves a space in your memory, some might be there for as long as you remember yet you can't remember why they're there. And of these people, there will be a few, or one, that you fall in love with and give your heart and almost your entire soul to. And if you're like me, you wouldn't know it any other way than to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

I only had one prior relationship before I met your father, so I am not an expert when it comes to heartbreaks. But I'll tell you what I know. It feels very painful and hurts like hell. The pain comes from from way inside your body and pierces the depths of your heart. It racks your brain and literally feels like someone stabbed you over and over again. You would think that this is the worst ever pain that you can feel, you feel like dying. You would probably say, " Yeah Mom, I know, I'm feeling it right now, but you don't understand!!"

I want you to know that its fine, you have to feel that way because you are only human. Grieve. Anger. Remorse. Numbness. Sad. Hysterical. I want you to let yourself feel all that. Wallow in it for a while because you deserve to. A relationship is a bond of unnormal proportions so it deaerves to be grieved upon. You might want to act fine like its all okay because you want to be strong, yes I commend that, but only after you let yourself wallow, even if you do it by yourself in private, and your best friends never know how miserable you feel. But your real friends will know, because they can tell, no matter how expertly you conceal it. And in that time, I want you to always remember to love yourself more than you love another person, and to love God more than you love yourself. Talk to God in any way, remember He listens and He sees, and He knows. He knows EVERYTHING.

This is another part there I will tell you but I know you won't listen to me. You might be really angry and blame everything on the other person (Hell yeah Mom). But in every relationship, it is a 2 way thing. Both have their faults and flaws, remember that, yes, I mean you too my child. (What? Your my Mom, you're supposed to be on my side!). But if you believe in God, truly and deeply, you would know that being Almighty and Powerful as He is, He knows what he is doing, what has happened and what will be. As your Creator and Designer, He has your blueprint from the cradle to the grave.

We humans, have the wonderful ability of learning. And as it is, we learn best, through making mistakes. Lots and lots of mistakes. Experiencing many different emotions, both good and bad, makes us better people. Why else are we here if not to serve God, to be His servant. And trying to be the best version of ourselves is is our mission, vision and objective in this world.

Every deed, every mistake, in every single moment that passes, makes us into what we are today. Our decisions, actions determines what kind of person we are.

Jodoh is a complicated business, yet, none of it is ours.

We can try our best and convince ourselves wholeheartedly that this is the person for me. This is my soulmate. We have so much history together. We were meant for each other. We are like SO compatible. Even the stars say so! It is destiny, it is fate.

My dear child, God is awesome. So awesome that only He knows what is right for you and what is not, when it comes to the person you marry. Can't argue with Him, y'know.

So if you you believe and have faith in God, you would know the He has arranged everything as he sees fit. If the relationship did not work out, then it is for the better, for both of you. Both of you will find someone else that fits you perfectly in every way. Your real soulmate, your real true love, as ordained by God. For your ex, wish him or her well, do not hate, do not harbour grudges, and most of all, do not REGRET. If they were good to you, be thankful, and remember them in memory as being an important part of your life.Wish them how you would wish upon yourself. Wish them happiness and forgiveness for you would want to be forgiven and happy too.

The relationships we forge, are there to help and guide us on our journey. Come away from each of those relationships with something learned. And when you do get married, cherish it, for it took both of you a long and treacherous journey to meet each other. But it will all be worth it.

To my soulmate, your father, whom words have no description of how grateful I am for you, it took me forever to get here but Alhamdulillah.

Love always,
Your Mommy.