Where art thou, God? Where can I find you? I need a teacher I cant find you by myself How is it, that ‘being good’ comes easy to some people? Do they not yearn for the forbidden? I do Very much so How is it that they like doing ‘what is told’ ? I don’t really have any strong feelings for it More often than not, I’m too lazy to do it Why is it, that my heart only longs for the ‘wrong’ and not the ‘right’? Am I evil? I envy the good It must feel beautiful to be loved by God I want to be like them They always seem so happy But I cant seem to do what they do, doing good I mean Praying 5 times a day, fasting from worldly needs How do they do that with such ease? It is the hardest thing for me I know that I will die, yet too much of the world doth I love I long for the heavens, yet I do nothing to deserve a place there I’m sorry Raqib for letting you down And Atid, I gave so much to write about, haven’t I? I’m sorry God I don’t understand what I say in prayers I look up the meaning But I never seem to remember I don’t understand your verses I don’t know what you’re saying I cant read it well Its in a foreign language I am not familiar with Get a teacher, you say What teacher can handle all these questions of mine without condemning me of blasphemy? I have so much to ask you Where am I with you? Do you love me? Can you love me as much as you do the ‘good' people? I tried not to be bad Why is it that all I want is to do the ‘bad’ stuff? How come I never want to do the the ‘good stuff’? Stuff you told us to do? Stuff we have to do to go to heaven? I want to go to heaven It is happy there, right? It’s a beautiful place I am not happy here Everything here makes me sad Except your ocean, and your fish, your flowers, and the wind, and the moon They are the most beautiful things here I don’t like people They are hurtful, some of them, most of them They do all sorts of things, we I mean They destroy the only beauty there is that you left for us here I don’t know how to be around them Yet I cannot live without them What is heaven like? Would you let me go there? I don’t deserve to go there, do I? They did what they were told, and more They lived so bravely And they are so strong They love you so much They gave up everything else. They gave up the world I love you too Why cant I be like them? Nothing I do will ever be good enough For anyone Please forgive me for my rantings There are more people out there who are unfortunate and need you I’m just a raving lunatic Who is sad for no reason Who isn’t grateful And selfish All I want is to be happy really. I want you to love me And I want to go to heaven that is all Please forgive me, Allah subhana wata’ala.
dreamer, bad driver, hungry, sleepy, crazy in love, can't draw,
can't play music, can't fly, wish I could fly, can't cook,
secretly wish to be a rock chick, a sucker for quirky colourful
cute but useless stuffs, water baby, moonlight freak,
really really want to fly........