Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day of questions

Hot oil on the face
I'm all over the place

I put on 'bedak sejuk'
Do you think it'll work on my heart?

I left my duties
it has been a while
It's so hard to get back in rhythm
when you have strayed so far

Days go by
as does time
I am making a lot of waste

Lazyness is my desease
couple it with ignorance
or is it denial?
and this is what you get

Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don't
It is my Grid, yet I can't stick to it
so what is left is chaos
what is left is a lingering sadness of no source

I miss God
it seems I have deviated so far
I try to grasp
Inconsistencies are a bane
my efforts are menial

and it rushes over
dominoes through everything else

I need to pray
it is the only cure I know
my heart is dying

5 out of 5
it shouldn't be so hard
yet I hardly manage 2 per day

I need to find my way
I need to get there
To be among the 2 groups
The first group I think I have no chance
The 2nd group, it has less of people today
that means only a few of us can make it

But I really do not want to be from the third group
The ones the get the book from the left hand

Funny, it seems I'm doing everything to not get where I want to go

It will be any day now

That day of questions

I just want to go
underneath where rivers flow
and hear that Salam

am I worthy?
I know not

2 comments:

3 GIGIH said...

sheesh,,,,wat a powerful words....ithink, icame 2 like it

_ainulhuda_ said...

Insya Allah .. you are worthy..

Irina I found this hadis;
Rasullah berkata: "Wahai manusia laksanakanlah amalan-amalan kamu. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan bosan sebelum kamu merasa bosan. Sesungguhnya amalan yang paling disukai Allah ialah amalan ringan yang berterusan,"

so, maybe we can start small, like zikir every one hour or derma.. or say something nice to people.. amalan juga tuh.. as for solat.. we can start with one or two.. then slowly can extend to five.. Insya Allah.. yg penting we try and ikhlas..