Brainy? Beautiful? Patronuses and ikan bilis..

Would I rather be brainy or beautiful?
Truth is, I’d rather be loved.

What would youI think about to produce a Patronus charm?
To do a Patronus charm, you have to think of the happiest thoughts you can think of. The Patronus charm works against dark magic, one of it which is to repel Dementors who’s main purpose is to suck all the happiness out of you.

I was thinking about this and I remembered, the happiest moment in my life.

I had just watched the sun rise. From the end of the wooden jetty, I dipped in my toes in the warm waters of Redang. I slipped down and immersed myself in the clear sparkling turquoise sea. After a moment of bubbles spraying around my body, I opened my eyes. It didn’t sting, the water wasn’t really salty. I walked slowly in the quiet stillness underwater, leaving a trail of sandy mist under my feet. I could see far beyond. There was no one else there. Except the fishes. There’s so many of them. All swimming around me in rhythm. The school of small ‘ikan bilis’ swam in a blur, a wave of my hand broke them up, then they joined back together again. I feel them swirl all around me but no matter where I turned, I could never touch them. I stood still and watched. There was no sound, but it was the most beautiful music I have ever heard.

It may seem selfish that my happiest moment didn’t involve any other person. I’m being completely honest here. Maybe, if there was any other person, I would feel compelled to ‘be’ a certain way. In the end, we are all alone anyway.

Why was that moment happy for me? In that solitude, I felt peace. Peace beyond any peace I have ever experienced. In that fleeting moment I was overjoyed but sad at the same time. I felt complete yet parted. I felt greatness yet I felt small. I felt free. I felt loved.