Helpless....

I have to do this

1)I have to figure out how to set up an online resource on Malaysian Art & Design for the Faculty of Art & Design UiTM.

What are the contents?
How and where to get them?
What do I need to know to make one?
Who are the people I need, where can I find them?
Will they be cooperative?
How long?
How much money?

2)I have to set up a business.

Which kind? Tshirt? Stationeries? Boxes? Design firm? Keropok Lekor?
How and where do I get the materials?
How much money?
Who are the people who will want to do this with me?
Will they be good?


Instead, all I really want is to

1)Dance
2)Travel
3)Be Beautiful
4)Snog my hubby
5)Eat , sleep and play


And I’m so so torn up inside because

1)I want to go to heaven
2)I have to make money coz I may have to take care of the 3 children (my niece and nephews) and put them through school and make sure they grow up being humans.
3)I don’t know who I’ll be married to and when and if he will be supportive enough with everything I have to do. Will he be my partner and help me through this? Or he’ll be too busy chasing his own dreams and wanting his own thang? Coz then I have to support himla. This is a long term commitment we’re talking about.
4)I don’t know how to do all this, I really don’t have any idea!!!!
5)Am I supposed to do this all by myself?? I need help!!!! Who will???